Poetic Ramblings Of An Insomniac

~Regardless where I go, there I am waiting...like an inescapable shadow of which I'd like to circumsize myself away from.
So let me sleep the sleep of a thousand sleeps and dream the dream of a thousand dreams.
Homesick, for a place I've never known and exhausted with this temporal realm.
A realm of frivolous vanity and meaningless masquerading as greatness.
Where is the egress, the exit, or the backdoor?
Praying for peace but battling the ever internal war.
Pain and grief are a soldier's constant companions, they'll never leave him...not in 'this' life.
Even in a crowded room one always feels alone.
When alone one always feels over crowded.
Adorned in a civilian mantle, I feel like a farce.
All the while the heart still longs for the battle-force.
Three two seven Infantry, rendezvous with destiny.
Still singing cadences, like it was just today.
Time stands still when you go away.
Dreams-of-your-father, I'm a fish out of water.
The music has stopped but the melody still plays.
It is the song that never ends, going on and on my friend.
Do the others hear it anymore, or is it only me?
O'Hail, O'hail, O'Infantry, civilian life is killing me...

♣Hoo-ah♣
22April2016
AnDrew S.

....TAPS....

    Sitting alone, like a ghost in the darkness, drinking to old memories.


    Drinking with his two buddies, Jose Cuervo and Corona. Toasting to his two best friends,


    Pain and Misery.


    Talking to old photographs, wishing they would talk back. Dressing himself in full class 'As'


    and jump boots. Spit-shined and polished.


    Staring at a soldier who's staring back at the man who stands all alone with glassy eyes,


    as Taps plays on the stereo in the room.


    He sits hugging a bottle close to his chest, it's semi-square edges, so warm in his embrace. So


    warm to his body, as he takes another drink.


    And Taps plays on...repeat after repeat.


    He looks out of the window and stares up at the night sky and thinks that maybe he would like to


    touch the moon...drink up the stars...run across the dark sky and never stop until he reaches the


    end.


    The cool night breeze drifts through the open window. Candle flames sway to the mood. Shadows


    dance slowly across the walls and floor.


    And Taps plays on.


    He stands before the long mirror, staring at a soldier at attention and he recognizes war in his


    face twinged with sadness in his glassy eyes.


    And Taps plays on.


    He remembers funeral details from the past and he hears the shots from the twenty one
   
   
    salute echo in his memory.


    The song comes to another end as he raises his hand and he hears,


    "Ready! Aim! Fire!"


    And Taps plays on.












Written in 1998
Published in December 2015
by AnDrew S.
Title: TAPS.

.... NOID....

  Laughing; Whispering...Security is three hundred and sixty degrees...
    Voices all around and their whispering about 'you'...What do they say?
Check the starter under the car...Check the lug nuts and break lines...
Continually change lanes while watching the rear view mirrors...How long has that car been following?
    Using the ground floor window rather than the door...Trip wire at every doorway in the home...
Fell on my face going to piss last night.
Trap door in the closet is covered by a rug...It leads to a concrete, windowless, basement where I sleep at night...
    My shotgun is the lover with whom I share my bed...My pistol is my companion...A zip-locked Glock beneath the spray of a hot shower.
    Next to my shoes, under my bed, lays a pro-mask...The water bottle on the kitchen counter is laced with Visine. Or is it arsenic?
Are the mirrors still watching long after they've been broken?...All the meat in the freezer contains E.coli...Living on military style MREs...Wood dowels in every window...Steel doors and door frames at every entrance way...Checking the Scotch tape on all of the windows and doors.
    Wearing NVGs, cruising down the street with the headlights off,
parking on the back block...
I dream that my demise will be an arsonist mouse whom will burn down my house with a stolen match while I sleep...Putting out poison and traps baited with smoked cheddar...
    Bugs are everywhere, listening...The meter man is talking to himself...I paid that kid a dollar to start my vehicle...
The television plays subliminal messages...That woman was just at the market and now she's here at the book store...She's feigning interest, or perhaps disinterest...Depending.
    Everyone has a shadow...Is it watching? Why does it follow so closely? Can it be lost, or removed? One's shadow?
Lying in the dark where one can feel safe...Is one's shadow in the darkness with thee? Watching?
    The phone is ringing...too scared to pick up...answering machine will get it...Got to find a pay phone down town to call back from...
It's June...Why does one wear these calf skin leather gloves? There's S.T.D.s on every toilet seat and on every woman's lips...
    That waitress just smiled...What's she done to the food? Is it her own private joke? Why did she say, "Hope you enjoy"? I better go...
Is that man wearing a hearing aid or a transistor receiver? Why does he wear a jacket in warm weather?...He's pretending to read a news paper...
    Got to remember to keep the matches in the fridge away from a mouse's reach...
Why did the crickets stop chirping outside?...It's too quite...Can't even hear a whisper...
A whisper...What are they saying?
    Alien abductions...Circles in a corn field...Electoral college...J.F.K.-K.I.O....Invisible planes...Why does a blind woman wield a sword?
Can they hear the baby crying in it's mother's womb? Can they hear one's internal voice of unreason? Will there ever be rest for the weary?
    HELP.






Written in 1998.
Published in December 2015.  
AnDrew S. 
(Written from an interest and intuitive observation into human psychology)
(The irrational sentence structure represents the irrational nature of the subject.)

~THE NEXT GREAT-GRANDMASTER-GURO-SOKE-R.B. INSTRUCTOR: SELLING YOU LIFE INSURANCE~

~There is a massive amount of fantasy and egomasturbation being peddled as 'self-defense' or 'combatives' for monetary gain by individuals whom would be dead if they had to apply their quackery under duress against a dedicated criminal intent...


~If they haven't lived it, they have no business teaching you how to survive it. If they were a champion in a ring they have every right to teach athletes how to dominate the sporting ring but unless they've had to survive among or consistently engage brutal criminal predators (few have) then from where does their expertise derive?


~If they claim to be expert 'street fighters' or experts in using close quarter combat in the streets, but have not been a patrol cop or highway patrolman from a violent area, club security in a bad part of town, or a penitentiary convict than what business do they have teaching self-defense against edge weapons (as is epidemic among martial-arts/combative instructors)...And if they were actually experts in violent street combat, as many claim these days, they'd have earned themselves a criminal record (aside from patrol cops) being that street fighting, assault, aggravated assault, and attempted murder are crimes in every civil society.



~That is the crux of what I have to say about the epidemic of instructors/teachers selling powdered unicorn horn and fairy dust for 'self-defense/combatives' these days and presuming to teach others how to disarm a determined attacker with a knife. Or how to defend oneself in a so-called 'street-fight'.



~Truth be told, mature men don't engage in street-fights or bar brawls. And if a mature adult finds themselves in a violent situation in 'the street' then they are facing violent criminals whom seldom attack alone. Criminals most often attack as more than one, in groups, and quite often at least one of them will be armed with some sort of weapon.



~But many instructors are fond of either claiming there is no defense against multiple attackers (as the Gracie Brazilian Jiu-jutsu family publically claim) or they will train under completely unrealistic scenarios (themselves having never faced and fought off multiple, determined, criminal attackers).


~Having no understanding of how criminal predators think, operate, or function gives rise to all forms of fantasy games being peddled by clever confidence men with traditional Asian martial art backgrounds, MMA/sport based backgrounds, or combative backgrounds on how to disarm a knife swinging predator or face down thugs in the street (without a firearm and proper combat training).



~Basic self-defense against a school yard tussle or women's defense against a date rapist are one thing. But when any instructor is teaching students how to prevail against and/or disarm a criminal predator armed with a knife or how to face down bigger, stronger, experienced, violent thugs in a 'street fight' one should always insist upon pressure testing his or her (the instructor's) theories under hard contact scenarios which are as close to real-life as possible (assuming one has personal experience with criminal predators and their tactics, capabilities, methods, and the environment). And anyone training in bare feet, on even flooring, in a loose traditional uniform or MMA sports wear is not preparing for 'self-defense'.



~Keep it real and don't get hustled by some charismatic personality with an impressive background in sports based martial arts, urban combatives, or even military service...Pressure test everything under realistic scenarios against fully resisting, experienced, stronger, training partners (as much as possible without maiming or permanently injuring one another) to see if these 'theories' are applicable under extreme duress when all your fine motor muscle control has been incapacitated and tunnel vision is trying to set.



~And anyone who claims to teach knife 'disarms' against an active, stronger, knife attacking predator is a charlatan. We're not talking about taking down a drunk wielding a pocket knife or a geriatric person brandishing a kitchen knife. I am implying a stronger, active, criminal predator or thug with a knife. Every single knife disarm I've ever seen demonstrated in 'any' martial art is complete fantasy and a recipe for getting oneself maimed or murdered.



~Every single knife attack I've ever had the misfortune to personally witness in the prison system was carried out by either a surprise attack where the attacker used the free hand to punch like a boxer while the rear hand stabbed simultaneously or the free hand grabbed/pinned the victim while the rear hand rapidly delivered quick stabs from varying angles at a speed that made it impossible to see the knife until the attack ended. And then the next most common way I've witnessed knife attacks executed is for a team to engage and hold the victim while a separate knife wielding attacker frantically punctures the victim in the groin, torso, neck, eyes, and head.



~Let me add that many experienced or well tutored criminals will tie the knife to their rear hand, making disarming them with fancy martial arts techniques impossible. Defanging the snake techniques would be futile. This is the way that nearly every penitentiary killer will insure that his weapon is not disarmed and used against him during the frantic assault. A victim's desperate swinging limbs and the viscosity of blood make holding a knife or ice pick difficult, so violent assassins will tie the weapon onto the bare hand or a work-gloved hand.



~Before you invest a large amount of your hard earned money to train under some great-grand-master-guro in how to disarm knife attackers or to prevail, unarmed, against multiple street thugs (or former prison gangsters) it would behoove the reader to consider the things addressed in this short article.



~Know thy enemy and know thy area of operation, then prepare accordingly if one wishes to invest the time and finances in proper preparation for such things. Don't be a victim of charismatic hustlers preying upon your limited understanding and experience with life or death violence against stronger predators.
~I would like to make mention that even though they succeed in stabbing you it's still possible (I've witnessed it more than once) to counter-attack with superior, focused, aggression so as to neutralize them before they kill you. A great number of stab victims do live, albeit; maimed, crippled or disabled, so being stabbed doesn't guarantee death.
~Neutralizing a knifer isn't the same as disarming a knifer with empty hands. That's what I wish to clarify. Controlling the wrist before stripping the knife away or executing an outside wrist throw on an intent knifer is suicidal! Neutralizing the attacker, as opposed to disarming the knife, either before or after you've been stabbed is possible with training. An instructor and retired I.D.F. counter-terrorism officer, by the name of Itay Gil, is one of the only commercialized instructors I've witnessed whom teaches effective, efficient, methods for dealing with and neutralizing bladed attackers. He can be seen in a few videos on the web demonstrating viable methods under realistic attacks. He was also featured once on the History Channel's Human Weapon Episode which is titled Military Hand-to-Hand-Combat.
~But once again, he too teaches and speaks with the authority from years of personal experience with real-world edge weapon assaults from intent, murderous, attackers.
~That's the difference.



~Si vi pacem para bellum.

~AnDrew~

'It Is No Mark Of Success To Be Well Adjusted To A Profoundly Sick World'

  The Brazilian military, at the behest of mining and logging corporations, has been forcefully removing, attacking, beating, and even killing Indigenous Natives.

  Many Indigenous Natives have traveled by foot into the cities to go before the courts and complain only to have their pleas for justice and salvation ignored...The more things change the more they remain the same...Atrocities many claim have passed into history are still happening today against indigenous peoples whom have attacked no one, terrorized no one, and have even tried to grieve to the law of the land about the abuses, terror, and murder they are suffering from an attempt to drive them from their home land which lies deep in the jungles of Brazil far from cities or towns. 1stTimothy 6:10: "For the love of money is the root of all manner of evil." 

  It would seem that the so-called Roman Catholic Government of Brazil has never studied their countries' most popular religion...Or perhaps they have and are merely following in the steps of the Roman Vatican's historical enslavement and murder of indigenous populations.

  What ever happened to, 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you?' Or 'love thy neighbor as thyself?'
  Just like every other Government: U.S., Canada, Mexico, and Columbia where they have and sometime still are killing indigenous Native people to drive them from their homes and farms, or African countries where the mainstream population and Government often hunt and kill Sani Bushmen and Pygmy people. Southeast Asia where Governments commit genocide against Karen people, The Laos Government who hunt the Mong people, the Arab countries where Government tries to force Bedouin people onto plots of land with Government housing, and Australia Government whom still attempt to drive indigenous Aboriginal people from their homeland. 

  The Brazilian Government has not changed very much from their historical days of hunting and oppressing indigenous Native people.
  Perhaps in 50-100years they shall teach in Brazil's schools how these peaceful people they now terrorize and kill while stealing their home land were violent people who attacked the Latino/Afro Brazilian population and so the military had to be sent in to quell their uprisings.

  They will not mention in history books how even after being attacked, beaten, homes burned, abused, and even some of their family killed these indigenous people, showing the restraint of true Saints, traveling by foot to appeal before the law of the land and plead for salvation and mercy from these crimes committed against them...

  I'm sure the history books will white wash the entire actions of the Brazilian Latino Government and villainies the Indigenous People, just as they have their ancestors in times before when the Latinos and Africans were conquering Brazil and building a Latin country. And just as the U.S. has done here in building an Anglo/Afro, and in some parts Latin, country...Latin meaning 'Roman' and referring to descendants of the Romans: Italian, Spanish, French, and Portuguese. Just to clarify because many today whom are predominantly Indigenous Americans by blood, some having no European blood in their veins, claim to be Latin/Latino. Anglo referring to descendants of the English and Euro-countries conquered by the English.

  In Jamaica almost all Indigenous Guarani 'Indans' are extinct, but for some of the local black Afro~Jamaicans whom have Guarani blood in their ancestry, because after the Afro~Jamaicans drove out the French slave owners in a civil war they eventually eradicated the remaining Indigenous Guarani living in the mountains.

  No other peoples on this planet seem to be historically (and evidently up until the present) hunted and eradicated at such a high rate as Indigenous American peoples from the Arctic all the way down to Argentina whenever their land and natural resources are to be desired.

  The King Family of Texas owns more land than any other family in the U.S. and yet throughout history the U.S. Government has not forced them off their land or forced them to give up mineral rights or any other rights on their thousands of acres...If it were only about land why are they too not victims of corporate Government greed?
  This is 2014 and I see more Facebook posts and media outrage about protecting stray dogs and cats or leaving pets in a locked car (which 'is' cruel) than I see about the human atrocities and crimes still being committed against Indigenous people in the Americas: from the epidemic rate of missing and murdered First Nation women and girls in Canada, to the same epidemic here in the U.S. and in Mexico, the Government sanctioned murders of Tarumara people in northern Mexico, the Columbian Government and the Cartels' attacks and crimes against the Indigenous Kogi people of the Mountains of Columbia, and the Government atrocities also against the Indigenous jungle people of Brazil, among many others I have failed to mention for brevity sake.
  Why is that the world gets in more upheaval over the killing of a single 17 year old young man in Florida (which is a tragedy) but does not bat an eye over the current epidemic kidnappings, rapes, multiple murders, or Government sanctioned attacks against Indigenous people across the Americas and in the U.S.A.?

  Why does the kidnapping of a Caucasian or African American child make national news in both the U.S.A. and Canada but the epidemic kidnappings and murders of Indigenous girls and women seldom make the local news?

  Even now many reading this would ask, "What epidemic of disappearing women and girls? I've never heard about it on local or national news?" (Exactly...)
  But PBS has done numerous documentaries about it, Independent Lens has covered it, Native News Letters have covered it, books have been written about it, and it's often on the Net.

  The Indigenous Movement 'Idle No More' was raising huge awareness about this epidemic and when they were getting some media attention on the web 'someone' within the media decided to avert the attention away from this extremely important issue (along with others being raised) just as they were gathering momentum and redirect the massive national attention to the issue of bigotry in the professional sport teams' mascots which denigrate Indigenous people.
  Now is it perhaps because multitudes of disappearing Indigenous women is not as upsetting to mainstream Americans and Canadians as challenging the mascot of some stupid sports team?
  Does it take attacking a professional sports team's mascot to get mainstream public up in arms when other issues concerning life and death (some affecting all Americans and Canadians) such as the 'fracking', continental oil pipeline, toxic waste dumping in drinking and fishing waters, and neglected massive oil spills in drinking and fishing waters were barely making ripples in the media nor causing much uproar in mainstream society during the earlier Idle No More movement?
  If such life and death issues concerning all people, along with an epidemic of disappearing and murdered bodies of women, can barely cause a ripple then why is the calling into question about the mascot of 'sports' teams creating such a massive recoil throughout the U.S. and Canada? Now ask yourself for a moment, what does this say about the integrity and priorities of the people?
  Where is the outrage where outrage is due? When does injustice take a back seat to entertainment within a nation of peoples? How can you call yourself and Christian, Catholic, Buddhist, Muslim, Mormon, Seven Day Adventist, or even a person of conscience and be so profoundly sick?
  "It is not the mark of success to be well adjusted in such a profoundly sick world."

Hoo-ah4Life,

 

AnDrew Soldier.

'What This World Needs Today'

We need less religion and politics...More faith and prayer to the Creator Almighty.
We need less 'what can you do for me' and more 'what can I do for you'.
We need less 'tic for tat' and more grace.
We need less bitterness and more gratitude.
We need less hate and more mercy.
We need less destruction and more creation.
We need less violence and more compassion.
We need less demand for respect and ...more giving respect.
We need less greed and more generosity.
We need less social networking and more personal interaction.
We need less 'trolling' and more encouraging.
We need less grudges and more forgiveness.
We need less lust and more love.
We need less taking and more giving back.
We need less seeking offense and more seeking blessings.
We need less 'f*** the world' and more 'how can I be a positive change in the world.'
We need less leaders and more servants.
We need less destructiveness and more healing.
We need less demand and more being content with less.
We need less knowledge and more understanding.
We need less emotion and more reason.
We need less pursuit of pleasure and more self-sacrifice.
We need less self-serving love and more altruistic love.
We need less making promises and more keeping promises.
We need less pride and more humility.
We need less curses and more words of blessings.
We need less destructive criticism and more constructive criticism.
We need less focus on ourselves and more focus on Holy Creator (God).
Peace be with you.
AnDrew*

'Modern Society's Emulation of Criminal Subculture'

   There seems to be a huge influence of the criminal subculture upon society in America today that seems to be an epidemic attitude among many of the younger people in the U.S.A...Gangsta rap music, Hollywood films glorifying street thugs and gangsters, along with an epidemic use of mind altering substances create a large culture of ghetto mentality.
    It permeates society so much that people from all walks of life use the terms 'pimping', 'thugging', 'thug-life', and 'gangsta' without even understanding the meanings nor implications of such words which come from a subculture that is 'anything' but glamorous...We honor cowards like pimps who engage in human trafficking and rape. Gangsters and thugs who engage in murder, pimping, rape, kidnapping, extortion and attacks on families....We honor them by listening to their songs, raps, and enjoying their over glamorized stories on film...We emulate their dress codes, manner of speech, and mimic their rhetoric while also claiming to be spiritual people of faith...Television and popular music influence the human mind so subtly that one doesn't even realize they've been indoctrinated until even the most humble of communities find gangster/ thug subculture in their speech or mannerisms.  
   And we dismiss it as just being part of the new fade, trend, or hip hop style...Since when does calling someone a 'Pimp' become a compliment? Or saying someone is 'pimping' is meant as a positive thing? Why do we refer to ourselves as 'thugged out', 'gangsta', and 'thug life' when we don't even truly know what that means?
    One whom has lived among real gangsters, thugs, criminal syndicates, pimps, and sicarios understands that their is NOTHING to admire from that culture and their is no glamour in it to be found.
    It will leave one sick to their stomach, disturbed from sleep, haunted by evil spirits, and unable to see the world with blind, innocent, eyes ever again...So let us emulate not the wicked and cowardly, but rather the brave, kind, generous, compassionate, loving, and wise in our speech and mannerisms. 
   Rather than putting on the appearance of wickedness let us put on the appearance of good.
 
   ♣Peace be with you all♣
AnDrew*

'The Gangsta/Thug Life Epidemic'

  Thinking about the epidemic trend of young people today emulating the 'gangsta/thug' life propagated by popular music and Hollywood films.
  Many real life gangsters you'll see wearing the three dots tattooed on their hand or body somewhere. Some wear other images with 'three' incorporated into the art.
  This is a reminder that their life will only take them 'three' places: Early grave, ICU, or Life sentence in prison...Sounds cool??
  Not to the ones in the grave, not to the ones paralyzed by a bullet from the neck down, staring at a ceiling all their lives, not to the ones who will never get out of prison unless it's wearing a toe tag in a body bag.
  Prison movies like Blood In Blood Out glamorize prison. But it's actually more like the movie 'American Me', only much worse.
  Most gangsters and thugs are homosexuals in lockup, many rape other men and pimp them.  Prison food is unsanitary and lacks nutrition while the chow hall often smells worse than a septic tank.           
  Forget adequate medical or dental care when you get injured or seriously ill. Sounds glamorous doesn't it?
  Murder and rape is so common place in violent prisons that I've heard Vietnam vets say they'd rather go back to the Vietnam War than remain in prison.
  If you accidentally kill some small child in a street shootout the convicts in lockup will label you a baby killer and your life is not going to be very glamorous in the pen, because people who harm children are not favored in lockup!
  And all the girls who think gangstas and thugs are sexy, imagine your macho man laid up in a bunk with another man or switch hitting with the homies.
  Not 'your' man? Well, in a gang he does what he's told sister! In the pen, all gangsters and thugs, though they deny it to their women, are pitching for the home team! And if they pitch they catch!        
  Either way they're still playing ball for the home team. And gangs use rape as both a physical and psychological weapon in prison. Do you ladies think your thug/gangster man is real macho when he rapes other men? Is that not homosexual activity he is engaging in?
  So go ahead and live that gangsta/thug life 'homies'! It sounds so glamorous I can hear all the fools now saying sign me up!
  Then after you get some street and prison credit you can break into the gangsta rap business and make millions off of fools buying your albums where you get to exaggerate about your hard core criminal life, while hiding the dirty secrets in the closet, until karma from your past actions come to collect. Then you still end up in one of those three places, maybe like Tupac and Biggie Smalls.
  There are no such things as retired gangsters and retired thugs. The words of the song wasn't wrong when they sung that gangsters and thugs don't live that long!
  Real men want to come home everyday to a 'woman' and a delicious meal, a home without sharing his room with another man, maybe some children who cheer when he returns home. Lots of love in his life.
That sounds a lot better than the three dots to me!
Hoo-ah,
AnDrew
5thPlt. Dco.
3-327th Infantry Regiment
1stBDE
101st Division
Screaming Eagles

'If Only We Were All Courageous'

'And how we burned in the camps later, thinking: What would things have been like if every Security operative, when he went out at night to make an arrest, had been uncertain whether he would return alive and had to say good-bye to his family? Or if, during periods of mass arrests, as for example in Leningrad, when they arrested a quarter of the entire city, people had not simply sat there in their lairs, paling with terror at every bang of the downstairs door and at every step on the staircase, but had understood they had nothing left to lose and had boldly set up in the downstairs
hall an ambush of half a dozen people with axes, hammers, pokers, or whatever else was at hand? After all, you knew ahead of time that those blue caps were out at night for no good purpose. And you could be sure ahead of time that you'd be cracking the skull of a cutthroat. Or what about the Black Maria sitting out there on the street with one lonely chauffeur - what if it had been driven off or its tires spiked. The Organs would very quickly have suffered a shortage of officers and transport and, notwithstanding all of Stalin's thirst, the cursed machine would have ground to a halt!' - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn (1918-2008)


Just something which I've pondered when I think of how throughout history the oppressive and violent few have been able to oppress, terrorize, and murder the masses with such little opposition.
I have to ask myself are most people, even in the face of terror and death, still afraid to actively engage their enemy in conflict? Or, as terrible as this question may sound to myself, are most of us in general cowardly or merely pacifistic in our inherent nature?


How are cruel and oppressive government regimes able to control, terrorize, roundup, and even murder masses of their own citizens all over the world throughout the ages while the masses go as sheep to the slaughter?


In an age when it has become trendy and even a fad for young people to refer to themselves as warriors, souljas, street soldiers and etc. I'm often surprised at the increasing evidence of selfishness among the young and even the old. Selfishness, according to the ancient Samurai of Feudal Japan and many other warrior cultures, is a sign of cowardice easily observed in others.


The Bushido Shoshinshu of Taira Shigesuke states that the difference between the courageous and the cowardly can be seen in everyday life. One whom is naturally valorous exercises loyalty and devotion to his employer and parents, and if he has any free time he studies and also practices the martial arts. He avoids personal luxury, and disdains to waste even a penny. He is not stingy, however, and spends his money freely when necessary. He has a patient, tolerant attitude in respect to everything else. (And it goes on describing more of the mentality of the courageous...)


As for the cowardly, they merely feign respect for employees and parents superficially, without really caring for them. They do not avoid things forbidden by employers or disliked by parents; they even frequent places they should not go, and do things they should not do. Acting as they please, they habitually nap mornings and afternoons. They hate literary studies, and even if they practice martial arts they do not pursue any of them seriously. They just talk boastfully about skills they cannot really perform.


They are spendthrifts when it comes to useless crazes and fancy dining, but extremely stingy when it comes to necessities. They give no thought to the maintenance of the heirlooms they have inherited from their parents, much less to the replacement of other military equipment.


If they are sickly, they cannot enter active public service mindless of the worry they cause their parents, they overeat, drink too much, and become addicted to sex.


Wearing away yourself and your life like this is something that comes from a weak and immature mind unable to endure and tolerate things. This generally reflects the mentality of a cowardly
knight.
Therefore  they say the courageous and the cowardly can certainly be distinguished in everyday life.


They even go farther and say that one who is is stingy and selfish shows cowardice in their
mentality. For how can one be expected to lay down and sacrifice the only life that they have to give when they can not even sacrifice their time, money, or material wealth for others? It is believed that altruistic love and generosity go hand in hand with the courageous.


Among many traditional Indigenous people of the Americas we believe 'generosity' and courage both are virtues of a warrior, but for us a warrior is not a killer as in many cultures. A warrior must be ready to defend his family, his liberty, his nation, and his land but native warrior ship is actually the willing campaign against adversity. For Indigenous Natives it's willingly facing and battling adversity with the undying will to prevail. And putting others first before oneself at all costs, including death. It's an altruistic path of selflessness and this requires great courage since it's our human nature to give in to the path of least resistance and be selfish.


Now I consider such wisdoms from various origins and from very old warrior cultures having survived the test of time. I study the epidemic character of the masses of youth in both my own country and countries abroad. I consider history and compare it to the present state of humankind...


Pondering once again this question that plagued me, is it any wonder that throughout history until the present the cruel few have been able to oppress, and even annihilate, the mass majority of humans across the world and across the ages?

by AnDrew Soldier.
14Dec.2013.

'P.T.S.D'...by Andrew Soldier. 23 July 2013...Hoo-ah.

 

 

 

 

Will I ever be the same again

 

Sleepless nights and listless days

 

Like a broken record my memory it plays

 

Creaking shadows and hyper senses

 

Frustration with communication

 

Always repeating sentences

 

Engorged on misery and drunk on sorrow

 

I don't give a damn if I ever see tomorrow

 

When I crash out I see my mini-me

 

Holding hands with my little angel

 

But I waken to tears on my face

 

And my voice feels strangled

 

Weight upon my chest

 

Pain within my veins

 

A beast in the basement

 

Straining at the chains

 

Conversations with myself

 

I sing cadences for comfort

 

Can't trust myself out among a crowd

 

Hard to relax myself, because noises seem too loud

 

At times I try to calculate the sum of my worth

 

At times I ask Creator why I ever survived birth

 

Use to feel alive

 

Now all I feel is numb

 

Was once somebody

 

Now I'm just a bum

 

Will I ever be the same again

 

So alive and full of smiles

 

Can I ever feel the same again

 

Before I traveled so many miles

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



'We Were Soldiers'...by Andrew Soldier.

There was a time when the ignorance of youthful bliss intoxicated one like a passionate kiss and we

 

believed that not even kryptonite could end our reign. We were so naive and the world still seemed

 

like a dramatic theater and we the main characters. We were the Lords of our time and thought

 

ourselves wise because we were over fed on knowledge and nursed by adventure. Danger and

 

romance were our vices while we were being subtly cured like smoked tender loin. Until the day

 

we look back and wonder, when did we lose our self. And we try so hard but we can't go back and 

 

recover what was lost. We can only cultivate the strength to drive on...


♣Hoo-ah 4 Life♣


~AnDrew Soldier~

 

I've Grown Weary...by Andrew Soldier.

I've grown weary of having cried dehydrated tears for countless years

 

having walked among beasts I counted myself dead

 

survived upon only water and bread

 

no safe place to lay my head

 

I've grown weary of having fought for countless years

 

broken bones and busted dreams

 

every night we heard their screams

Living on prayers while subsisting on sorrow

never knowing if I'd see tomorrow

I've grown weary of this journey through life

so much indifference, malice, and strife

Reprobate rulers mount their steads of corruption and greed

they push us forward

into a future of most certain horror

I've grown weary of hating my enemies

and myself as well

I've grown weary and all that remains

is this drifting ship...without a sail

#CommitteeOf300DeclassifiedCIAreport

#IdeologicalSubversion

#Globalism

#TedGundersonChronicles

#OperationUndergroundRailroad

 

 

 

 

 

Today I Lost My Only Son...by Andrew Soldier.13June2013.

Today I lost my only son

 

I wish to had been mortally shot with a gun

 

my life force flowing out of me

 

for to grieve the loss of my only son is far worse than anything I've ever begun

 

to have walked through hell

 

to have stared death in the face and won

 

just to return and lose my only son

 

dear Lord how can I go on

 

now that my reason for living is gone

 

He was my joy, my hope, my dreams

 

the inspiration that gave me wings

 

I can not bear the weight of this cross

 

convulsing from too great a loss

 

my soul is now rent upon the fabric of time

I feel like the victim of a terrible crime.

 

 

 

 

 

 

In My Heart Grows A Rose.

 

 

 

 

In my heart grows a rose without thorns,




for it can not survive in this world without defense I must

 

hide it close to my bosom and let it's delicate petals not be left unguarded.




It is a rose that has grown

 

from concrete.




Watered by hidden tears, it is a heavy rose and old beyond it's years.




Let me cast it

 

upon a sea of souls as my final fair well for I loved you all behind my hardened shell.

 

by, Andrew Soldier.



'Insomniac Confessions', by Andrew Soldier. 13 May 2013.

Youthful delusion of immortality soon fades like the flowers of spring and summer.

Oh how one longs for that season and mourns for the loss of youthful hopes, dreams, innocence, and
passion.

Just as the wino craves his bottle of bliss let me return to the days of foolish youth,

for ignorance was intoxicating like the most passionate kiss. 

With increased wisdom and knowledge comes increased sorrows. 

The greatest misery is the remembrance of happier times.

Echoes of distant memories torment the heart and mind as the rocking chair takes hold.

The shattered pieces of a once pristine and polished heart now lay in the basement of a sorrowful soul.

Tears are one's cup and grief become ones bread.

A stone for a pillow rests upon one's head while sleep is chased away by the melancholic whispers of the night.

What has become of the child that was sacrificed upon the altar of disillusion?

Resurrect the boy and kill the man.

Take back the weapons from his hands and return to him the keys to the promise land. 

Haunted by so many years of impossible goodbyes.

Let me take flight upon the wind.

Let me ascend beyond the skies.

Oh ma'ma', ma'ma', can't you see,

 this broken heart is what's killing me.