Will I ever be the same again
Sleepless nights and listless days
Like a broken record my memory it plays
Creaking shadows and hyper senses
Frustration with communication
Always repeating sentences
Engorged on misery and drunk on sorrow
I don't give a damn if I ever see tomorrow
When I crash out I see my mini-me
Holding hands with my little angel
But I waken to tears on my face
And my voice feels strangled
Weight upon my chest
Pain within my veins
A beast in the basement
Straining at the chains
Conversations with myself
I sing cadences for comfort
Can't trust myself out among a crowd
Hard to relax myself, because noises seem too loud
At times I try to calculate the sum of my worth
At times I ask Creator why I ever survived birth
Use to feel alive
Now all I feel is numb
Was once somebody
Now I'm just a bum
Will I ever be the same again
So alive and full of smiles
Can I ever feel the same again
Before I traveled so many miles
PTSD is one of those things that stays with you. That if you have no name or way of recognizing it, it becomes more powerful and you more alone. Thankfully we have brothers and sisters who have "travelled many miles" and put their lives in harms way many a time for the sake of a greater good. You're not alone, and that is what makes it all the more bearable. It's wonderful that you have found a voice in your art. - Alex
ReplyDeleteThanks brother. Art is good medicine to the soul. And it's more meaningful if others can appreciate it's meaning.(Which I know you can and do.) Many things we carry with us and effect us but we must endeavor to persevere. Leonardo DaVinci said it best, "Opposition only leads me to strong resolution." Hoo-ah 4 Life!:)
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